That Girl

For most of my life I’ve never been able to properly vocalize my thoughts or my feelings. As a teenager is came out in pure rage (sorry Mom). As a young adult, it was often a complete mental shut down. Denial? Inability to just deal? The lack of knowing how to actually spit out the words that bounced around in my head?!

I’m the girl that lets the jerk cut in front of me in the grocery line because maybe he just didn’t mean to. I’m the girl who never asks for the change back if a waitress doesn’t offer it. I’m the girl who doesn’t speak up in meetings because I know nobody gives a shit what I have to say. I’m the girl who knows her husband is lying to her everyday but still stays for a miserable ten years. I’m the girl who has daddy issues but still struggles to realize it’s not MY fault. I’m the girl who lets her ‘friends’ walk all over her. I’m the girl who just shuts her mouth and takes it. And I’m the girl who has anxiety about all of the above.

I am that girl.

I am that girl.

I used to be that girl…

I am not that girl…

I am not that girl…

I am the girl who says “Excuse me sir, I was here first”. I am the girl who doesn’t care any more that it’s just $1.00…bitch, give me my money. I am the girl who runs the meeting like a pimp. I’m the girl who left because I knew I deserved better. I am the girl who’s getting better at realizing it really isn’t MY fault. I am the girl, who without the need to explain or justify, has cut you right out of my life because you know exactly what you did and it stung my soul.

I am the girl who is finding her way.

I am that girl…

~ Wendy ~