I was part of a conversation last week where one participant was very adamant that becoming a parent makes you less selfish. As I stare at my secret stash of junk food, hidden safely in my room, I beg to differ.
Parenting definitely does not make you less selfish.
It makes you greedy. Greedy for uninterrupted quite time. Greedy for peeing alone. Greedy for watching adult television shows. Does it make you more patient? Maybe. More caring? Perhaps. Less selfish? Absolutely not. Maybe it’s the only-child part of me, but if parenting has taught me anything…it’s to hide my nice stuff. I’m not sharing my nice blanket, the good chocolate or the fancy shampoo. I have flat-out lied to my kids for some peace and quite. Sorry, I can’t pick you up…I’m on my way to a doula appointment. Oh, I would run you lunch money but I’m on my way to the hospital. I’m sorry you had to make your own breakfast…I was just so tired from doula-ing all night. Hugs and kisses…thanks for letting me sleep!
The way I see it, I’m just helping them spread their wings for when I push them from the nest into a world where no one shares their junk food with you either. It’s MINE.